Ask…Seek…Knock

Developmental technicians have long proposed there being four stages to learning:

- Unconscious Incompetence (aka Ignorance)

- Conscious Incompetence (aka Awareness)

- Conscious Competence (aka Learning)

- Unconscious Competence (aka Mastery)

I find myself thinking about these stages today as I ponder the relationship I enjoy with the folks I coach with @ R12 and others I walk with in life and at work. Most times folks come, finding themselves in the Awareness (most) or the Learning (some) quadrants. Awareness is, far and away, the most unnerving stage. The most common descriptor is I’m not sure what to do. I’ve lived there, and everyone I’ve ever met going through this stage wants to move to the next stage as fast as possible. We can all be honest here, right? We’ve all been here. Sometimes we need someone who’s walked a similar path to walk with us as we grow. I sure have!

I’ve been blessed to get some meaningful coaching in my life. My dad was a great coach to me. Though he died young, he taught me about loyalty, hard work and encouraging others. Coach Scanlon was a great coach, walking with me through the integration of being productive in life with my calling to have a more transcendent impact. Coach Rita was profoundly impactful as she taught and modeled for me the ancient practices of spiritual listening and prayer. And, finally, Coach Winship has impacted me through both his teaching and walking with me in learning that I have an identity, a true identity that is not shaped or given by what I do, but by the One who created and destined me to become the man I am.

Almost 63 years I’ve walked this earth. I realize how blessed I am to have had the woman I enjoy as my bride by my side for almost 45 of those years. I realize that I have also been blessed by these caring and wise folks who have poured into my life, who’ve walked me through the various stages of learning, who’ve met me when I was stuck in that no-fun Conscious Incompetence – Awareness stage and, at times, walked me deeper towards the mastery stage.

My coaches didn’t just help me when I was stuck – they helped me come to grips with who I am, why I’m here and what to do that would leave the biggest mark on life.

I want to take the next few blog posts to unpack a little acronym called A.S.K. To be candid – I swiped it right out of the bible (hope that’s OK!). It stands for Ask – Seek – Knock and is part of a famous sermon. I believe it’s extremely helpful for folks in the market seeking to grow, to get clarity, to gain momentum and to work with greater ease.

Ask – growing by learning to get the help we need.

Seek – developing with the right people and solutions, and with the right criterion.

Knock – cultivating a patient willingness to wait until the timing comes

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Peace~

Craig

craig@r12coaching.com